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Tuesday, October 13, 2009

A Lesson That Should Not Be Taught

Since when did children's birthday parties turn into community events?? When my daughter was small, we invited a few of her friends and we got together either at home and had a pool party...or we went to the local roller skating rink and had a party there with maybe ten of us.

Today? Today it is different. Totally different!! NOW they are renting halls and having EVENTS.

Before I get any flack here. This is MY blog and I will state MY opinion.

I do not feel that this is a good lesson to be teaching kids today. Let's invite everyone we know and ask them to bring an expensive present to the party!

It's not a good lesson in my opinion.

Just sayin'.

10 comments:

Katya said...

Agreed!

So many kids are getting overdone parties and such....which leads them to expect even more elaborate parties!

Our kids hosted a "Capture the Flag" party in our woods and the kids had a great time just being together! We had chicken hot off the grill and twice-baked potatoes, all made by yours truly!

I love "homemade" fun and I pray my kids will grow up to continue loving the "simpler" things in life!

It is what we "do" in life that matters, not what we "have"!

Teresa @ Grammy Girlfriend said...

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http://grammyababychangeseverything.blogspot.com

silvieon4 said...

What's really lost is the intimacy, joy and pride of a great well thought of family gathering. The favorite home made cake, the special dinner, the gift chosen with real care, not a need to impress someone else. The rituals that make birthdays special. It has been traded away for convenience. We have gone from special to party planner standard. Ick. What happened to the fun of having your child pick his/her birthday dinner? [an all blue meal could be fun!] My kids are older now, but they would have been devastated, insulted, hurt had I bought their birthday cake... ever.
I also gave "ungifts". Not things, I gave experiences. They still talk about them. Yes, there is such a thing as a "cheese museum" and we can't say those words without laughing to the point of tears... I attended on party at a pizza place. The child was scared to death of the mouse/ rat ... whatever costumed person, and cried non stop. The pizza was horrid, the parents were frantic because the kids were running wild... hardly a celebration. I agree I agree I agree...
One more thought. For those of you with marrying children... Spending 200 thou on a wedding is stupid, specially when within 7 months you will be spending 20 thou on the divorce...

Karen said...

Amen, Sister. Can't say it any better than you did.

Karen said...

Hear! Hear!

Robin said...

I agree in theory, but I'm afraid here in Israel there isn't a whole lot of choice for the younger children (say ages 5-7). In this country it is absolutely imperative that the ENTIRE class be invited (generally 35 children + whatever non-class friends), anything less is considered appallingly bad manners, and once you're talking about upwards of 40 kids it's a huge hardship on a parent to manage, not to mention a substantial risk to the well-being of your house.

It's commonplace here to hire entertainers simply because they have the training and ability to keep 40 rowdy young children engaged, interested and reasonably well-behaved, whereas a group that huge would eat a parent alive. I'm lucky that my building has a multi-purpose room I can use so that I don't have to rent a room (actually the bomb shelter, but these days it's pretty much only used for parties) but I still have to have the clown. As for having the party at home I did that once years ago and my house barely made it through standing. The whole thing is expensive, and a bit appalling, but it's pretty much standard here and I know that my daughter will in turn receive invitations from her classmates all year long and will be avidly looking forward to their parties as well.

PS The presents are a lot cheaper though - they have to be if you're expected to buy them for so many kids each year :).

Robin said...

PPS This all starts winding down by about age 8. Last year my 8 year old had a slumber party for 10 boys at our home. Infinitely cheaper and lower key, and infinitely more stressful for the entire family. The boys loved it but no one else's parents were brave enough to throw one. All the rest went out for a movie and pizza, which is probably what we'll end up having to do this year for his ninth.

Pamela said...

I have to agree with you.

lisaschaos said...

I'm with you - I prefer the small intimate gatherings. :)

dawn said...

As you know, I have always stood by this. When our kids were young we had a party with family and some friends because Sirdar's family expected. It was my compromise. At 11, they no longer had a party, but were allowed to have a friend over or something. As a teen they are allowed one year of party(ies) with all their friends. J had one with her youth and home school friends and one with the neighbours and other family/friends. I think besides the whole gift receiving situation, there is just a huge expectation that grows out of each year being bigger and better and some people can't live with the disappointment that comes when an adult and they only got a couple of phone calls and emails to wish them a good day.